What being a patient has taught me and will teach me

 When you live with chronic pain, some days seem utterly hopeless. There comes a time in one's life when you just sort of reach an acceptance of some sort that this will be the rest of your life. That point for me was about 2 years ago. I was driving home from yet another answerless doctor's appointment about what the cause of years of pain from an ankle sprain was and why it was still there. I was so consumed in many thoughts; feeling like the system had let me down, anger, frustration, disappointment but also deep, deep despair. Unable to focus on the road, I pulled off on a side street and sat in silence in the car for a few moments. Finally, after trying to collect myself, I called out to God in anger. 

"God, I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of false hope. I'm tired of wasting money I don't have. I'll just live like this forever, if that's what you want. Just tell me." 

Fast forward to May of this year. I was at my chiropractor's office and I was again verbalizing my frustrations after seeing yet another specialist who recommended fusing one of the joints in my ankle. That would mean time in the hospital and about 4 months off work. I said I couldn't do that. There was no way. Then my chiropractor said "I know a podiatrist who is really experienced and I really value his opinions. I'll give you his name. Go talk to him and see what he thinks." I got the name, called the office and got an appointment a few days later. I didn't go in with any expectations, as I had learned not to. Fast forward to August 25. This same podiatrist performed surgery on me to remove an entrapped nerve, cap it and bury it in my calf muscle. Fast forward to today, right now. I am no longer in 24/7 constant pain. Some days I go hours without any pain, and when there is some it isn't like before and it goes away pretty quickly. 

I'm writing the rest of this trying to hold back tears because I have talked to so many of my clients who have reached their "I'm done" moments. They've been ostracized and passed along by other providers, society, their friends or family. For some it hasn't been 11 years of waiting like me; for some it's been that one near fatal overdose that was the wake up call they needed. I know after this I will be a better advocate. Every single human being out there deserves to have their questions answered, to be heard and to get the care they need and deserve. As for others who are struggling, my advice is this; don't give up. Keep searching. Do not take no for an answer. Someone out there has the answers. Someone out there is waiting to hear you. Someone out there is wanting to help you. Fight for your life. And if you run out of fight, find someone to help fight with you. If you want, I can be that for you.