Just like Dad

 Tomorrow is my dad's surgery for his lower spinal fusion...L3 and L4 I believe. This was originally supposed to happen back in October, but then it got postponed because one of the surgeons got Covid. Then it was postponed again...because he had his stroke. So now it's finally happening, and I goodness hope that it does this time. Seems like everything is on track, and if it is, it will happen at 8:55 tomorrow morning. I hope things stay on track and it actually does happen. I don't know why, maybe because I'm scared history will repeat itself, that for some reason or another it won't happen. Then we will all be disappointed and let down...again. And after talking with my dad tonight, he is really wanting this to be done and over with. I think we all are. 

And then there's me. I've been having my own struggles with my back problems as well. Steroid injections provided some relief, but not as much as I was hoping. Meds haven't helped. Chiropractics can only do so much, and I fear over time it will not be beneficial anymore. Not really sure what else can be done. My fear is 10, 15 years down the road, I'll be right where my dad is. I try not to think about it, but you can't really help it when the pain is staring you down constantly. My dad described it perfectly; "It's like a toothache that won't go away." It's so true. SO true. And some days, some mornings especially, are just REALLY tough. Today was a tough morning, could barely move. Didn't even attempt to try and tie my shoes, so wore slip ons today. I am definitely not as active as I used to be, not for a lack of choice, but sometimes it's really just too painful. I always told myself I would never use my pain issues as excuses...lo and behold. 

It's just really discouraging sometimes. I have worked with so many of my clients, past and present, who are unfortunately in the situation they are now because of an injury. It's so sad, and I am so often reminded of how simple it would be for me if I just let my mind speak louder than what was right. Because I'm telling you...when you are in pain, and I have been all day, it's hard. I was trying very hard on the drive home to not tell myself "go ahead and take a tylenol 3 when you get home. It's just one. It'll help." But I resisted. Some however, aren't so lucky. Which reminds me I need to get rid of those tylenol 3...

But tomorrow is a new day. We start fresh tomorrow.