Ending the year of the Rona and what 2021 may bring

 2020 is about to come to a close. For many, this is bringing great relief. For others, a lot of uncertainty. Fear, even. For me? I'm not sure. I do know that I'm not making many plans, none really. Whatever happens happens I suppose. But one thing has been certain; I am going to be making a lot of positive changes for myself in the upcoming year. 

A couple of weeks ago, I began really struggling emotionally. The struggles started after my dad's stroke, but worsened when things at work began getting a little more stressful and I was dealing with some things outside of work. My friend who I live with was going through some difficult decisions and my kitty boys weren't getting along as a result of Bear getting outside accidentally. After two fur flying fights and lots of hissing and growling and not knowing what to do, I was really at my wit's end. I wasn't sleeping well at all. I was hardly eating, hardly eating in the sense I lost 3 pounds in a weekend. I was easily irritated, easily frustrated, constantly fatigued, didn't want to clean the house, clean the litter box or do anything really and I was just crying...ALL the time. I just felt like I could not get a handle on things, anything really. I felt like I was spiraling and I didn't know what to do. I had a meeting with my boss a few weeks ago and she could tell I wasn't acting like myself. After that meeting I knew; I knew I had to figure something out or things were only going to get worse. So I reached out to my primary care doctor and the office had me meet with a nurse practitioner almost 3 weeks ago. She started me on some medication (Lexapro) and I will be meeting with a counselor next week to start some therapy! I really don't have any idea what to expect in regards to therapy, but I think it will be beneficial. I'm willing to give it a try, definitely. As for the Lexapro, I think it's helping some. I'm generally sleeping better, though I have some nights where I've still had some struggles. I'm a little more focused at work though I still feel like my mood is a bit off kilter. I still find myself at times easily irritated, though much less so. (yesterday was an off day). 

As for the rest of 2021, I have no idea what to expect. I hope to see the resolution of all things Covid. I hope to see the end of  masks, anti-maskers, arguing with stupidity, social distancing and somewhat resemblances of a once normal life. Or maybe seeing the redefining of what a normal life is for all of us. I would love for our office to resume functions as normal, as in pre-covid. It would sure as heck make my life maybe a little easier. 2021 will mark 1 year at my current job. One of best friends is having a baby in February so I'm looking forward to becoming "auntie." And I hope to see and hear about continued progress with my dad as he continues to recover, and it seems like that is the case. The last two times we've talked I haven't heard any difficulty in finding words or any memory problems. It'd be sure nice to see them a bit more too, as Halloween day was the last time I saw them for all of 2020 and only for about an hour. Maybe I'll give that Italy trip a try again too. In terms of work, I only hope to continue to learn more and do our very best to provide the most excellent care to our clients who 100% deserve it....even if they act like dinks. I'm in the process of looking into getting my CARN certification in the year to come, which means I'll let my PMH-BC certification lapse, as addictions is where my true passion lies. Only took me 7 years to figure it out. I'll definitely be getting my Covid vaccine when it becomes available to me! 

So that's about it on 2020. Hoping for a brighter, healthier, safer and more exciting 2021!