Ramifications
The lockdown due to covid-19 hasn't just affected me.
It's affected some of my friends, loved ones, strangers, and sadly some of my clients. Their mainstay of their sobriety is suddenly taken from them; their jobs. And I'm telling you, though I don't have any battles with addiction, sometimes the human mind is a very powerful thing. When you're consumed in your own head space, the ruts get very, very deep sometimes. And crawling your way out of them can be a long and very tedious process. And those head space voices sometimes are very, very loud. Sadly, as a result, some of my clients have relapsed in the past couple of weeks. Some of them have told us they have, others we can just tell.
I feel so conflicted with all of this going on. On the one hand, I understand why some businesses and services are still closed. Covid was a very contagious virus that spread rapidly, and the distances and lock downs kept us safe. As a result, cases have started to go down (and I believe are still going down). Meanwhile, my sister living in Kentucky is telling me things are already starting to re-open, and as a result some counties are seeking an increase in cases. On the one hand I'm ready for certain businesses and services to reopen (hello pedis and actually eating out in a restaurant), but at the same time when my sister tells me what's going on in KY I get scared! But then I think of my clients that are still out of work and really struggling. It's hard for me to know what to say or think; I'm still very fortunate to have a job to go to every day. I just don't know, and it's getting harder not knowing. I think it's fair to say we're all just doing the best we can. I on the other hand usually am doing ok, but I've had my moments where the frustration and the jealousy that other states are reopening and we're still stuck in lockdown. It's sometimes tortuous; I go to work and I go home. I can't even remember the last time I did a full grocery shopping trip in the actual store; I just run in quickly for just a few things, otherwise it's all Instacart. I haven't had a service in my actual church in almost 3 months. I can't remember the last time I've sat down in a restaurant to have a meal. Haven't had a pedicure since December. All things considering though, generally speaking, I'm doing ok.
Needless to say, I think it's fair to say we're all doing the best we can.
It's affected some of my friends, loved ones, strangers, and sadly some of my clients. Their mainstay of their sobriety is suddenly taken from them; their jobs. And I'm telling you, though I don't have any battles with addiction, sometimes the human mind is a very powerful thing. When you're consumed in your own head space, the ruts get very, very deep sometimes. And crawling your way out of them can be a long and very tedious process. And those head space voices sometimes are very, very loud. Sadly, as a result, some of my clients have relapsed in the past couple of weeks. Some of them have told us they have, others we can just tell.
I feel so conflicted with all of this going on. On the one hand, I understand why some businesses and services are still closed. Covid was a very contagious virus that spread rapidly, and the distances and lock downs kept us safe. As a result, cases have started to go down (and I believe are still going down). Meanwhile, my sister living in Kentucky is telling me things are already starting to re-open, and as a result some counties are seeking an increase in cases. On the one hand I'm ready for certain businesses and services to reopen (hello pedis and actually eating out in a restaurant), but at the same time when my sister tells me what's going on in KY I get scared! But then I think of my clients that are still out of work and really struggling. It's hard for me to know what to say or think; I'm still very fortunate to have a job to go to every day. I just don't know, and it's getting harder not knowing. I think it's fair to say we're all just doing the best we can. I on the other hand usually am doing ok, but I've had my moments where the frustration and the jealousy that other states are reopening and we're still stuck in lockdown. It's sometimes tortuous; I go to work and I go home. I can't even remember the last time I did a full grocery shopping trip in the actual store; I just run in quickly for just a few things, otherwise it's all Instacart. I haven't had a service in my actual church in almost 3 months. I can't remember the last time I've sat down in a restaurant to have a meal. Haven't had a pedicure since December. All things considering though, generally speaking, I'm doing ok.
Needless to say, I think it's fair to say we're all doing the best we can.
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