Excuses or lack thereof
Tomorrow starts on my new unit. I'm not really sure what to expect, other than it will be different. Working geri for the last 6 months will take me a while to break some habits I've developed; not bad ones per say but just like I said, different. Breaking ways of doing things I've been doing every day up there. I only hope and pray I'm welcomed and received as well as I was on my old unit. It was a difficult decision, leaving such a wonderful bunch of co-workers. We really did work as a team, and I will be forever grateful for my time there and the experiences we all were privileged to share together. I returned from the Dominican Republic a week ago today, VERY early in the morning after missing one flight and a few delays from the other and an almost $100 cab fare back home. It's been a little weird adjusting back to life here, and much like last year, I've had a few days where I've just felt very lackluster. Not necessarily depressed, just sort of...meh. Like today. I didn't feel like doing anything or didn't feel like socializing with anyone. I just wanted, no, needed some time alone. A few nights ago I found myself crying, just feeling overwhelmed by a myriad of things; my new job....or new JOBS I should say.
A bit of additional news. This past Thursday I had an interview (and was offered) a per diem (as needed) position at a long-term care and sub-acute facility. Turns out the former director goes to the church I've been attending since moving up north and we ended up talking before I left for the Dominican Republic and she said "give me your information and I'll hire you!" So I applied, interviewed on Thursday and like I said, was offered a job. I'll be starting orientation there in the beginning of next month. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd work in such a place, but when God opens doors, He opens doors. I think that there was always a part of me that just kept making excuses. "I don't like that type of nursing." "There's too much to learn." "I'm out of practice in my skills." "What if I don't like it?" Enough of the excuses. They're not a productive way of thinking at all. Finally decided to bite the bullet and give it a go! It's only 3 shifts a month. It's about time I challenged myself a little, and I figured this would be a good place to start!
Anyway, so the other night I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by a multitude of things; starting not one but two new jobs, all the wonderful things that happened on my recent trip and the fact that I'll probably have to move soon. I was then reading something in my nightly devotional and came across this in Psalm 42.
Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again-my Savior and my God!
All the while I was reading this I was listening to music as I usually do. I came across a song that night and I was really struck by the words. I had listened to them before but paid particular attention to them after reading. After hearing these simple words from the song, Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine. I started to smile. And cry some more. But I smiled. I knew that God was with me and always has been, but I just especially felt His presence after that. It was as if He reached His arms around me and gave me a big hug and said "you know what? It's all good. It's going to be all good." We can live in fear or anything else that defines us or we can live in God and by God. We can live in the sunshine. No more excuses.
A bit of additional news. This past Thursday I had an interview (and was offered) a per diem (as needed) position at a long-term care and sub-acute facility. Turns out the former director goes to the church I've been attending since moving up north and we ended up talking before I left for the Dominican Republic and she said "give me your information and I'll hire you!" So I applied, interviewed on Thursday and like I said, was offered a job. I'll be starting orientation there in the beginning of next month. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd work in such a place, but when God opens doors, He opens doors. I think that there was always a part of me that just kept making excuses. "I don't like that type of nursing." "There's too much to learn." "I'm out of practice in my skills." "What if I don't like it?" Enough of the excuses. They're not a productive way of thinking at all. Finally decided to bite the bullet and give it a go! It's only 3 shifts a month. It's about time I challenged myself a little, and I figured this would be a good place to start!
Anyway, so the other night I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by a multitude of things; starting not one but two new jobs, all the wonderful things that happened on my recent trip and the fact that I'll probably have to move soon. I was then reading something in my nightly devotional and came across this in Psalm 42.
Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again-my Savior and my God!
All the while I was reading this I was listening to music as I usually do. I came across a song that night and I was really struck by the words. I had listened to them before but paid particular attention to them after reading. After hearing these simple words from the song, Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine. I started to smile. And cry some more. But I smiled. I knew that God was with me and always has been, but I just especially felt His presence after that. It was as if He reached His arms around me and gave me a big hug and said "you know what? It's all good. It's going to be all good." We can live in fear or anything else that defines us or we can live in God and by God. We can live in the sunshine. No more excuses.
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