Some really long days

I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted. It's been a very busy month; the acuity of the unit has been through the roof and needless to say, we've all had a pretty rough couple of days, this past week especially. To be honest I really can't pinpoint the source of the roughness; I think it's just been a culmination of a lot of different things that have built up and built up until there's no more room for it to expand. I've had a few days as of late where I've cried on the way home or later on that night. I consider myself to be a pretty strong person, but there's only so much getting screamed at that I can take. Tuesday was an especially bad day. Came home from work and was talking with a friend, a joke was made, one that had been made towards me that had never fazed me, and I just....lost it. I had to walk away because I felt like I was going to lose control and say something I know I would later on regret, possibly to the point of destroying such friendship. All was well in the end, but still. All the frustrations over the past week or so reached a breaking point. Even the strongest crack sometimes. 

I think what is so commonly forgotten is that before we are healthcare providers, we're human beings too. We have things going on in our own lives that are difficult. We have other obligations, relationships, marriages and families expecting us when we walk through our front doors. And yes, sometimes the words of patients, co-workers and superiors sometimes hurt my feelings. I'm only, after all, just a human too. I know I'm not supposed to take things like that personally, but when someone who is just pissed off calls you a moron, threatens you and swears at you, yeah, that hurts a little. But you can't show it in front of them; you have to swallow it back, take a breath and say "ok. I'm sorry you feel that way." I foresee that there will be better days, but I know there will be more difficult days before the better days. And that's all I have to say about that. 

On a much happier note, my life has changed for the better. On the 13th of this month, my small Massachusetts family got 2 mouths bigger. I brought home two 8 year old cats, brothers, named Benjamin and Bear. The boys came from a local Humane Society after having to be surrendered by their previous owners so they could care for an elderly relative. A difficult choice I can imagine. I had every intention of only bringing home one kitty when I visited the Humane Society for the first time, but after seeing the two of them, it was love at first sight. The first few days were particularly difficult; lots of hissing, growling and even a fight I had to break up. But this past Sunday, they started to turn a corner and now all is well. It's been a little over a week now, and they're doing great. They follow me around everywhere, even in the bathroom. They're very affectionate, purr like crazy and enjoy their belly rubs. They're not shy around people at all! (And as I write this, Bear is curled up on the couch next to me per usual.) I know it's not like anything related to having children, but when you invite someone new into your life, whether a child, a relationship or pet babies, it changes you. Your whole perspective changes. You become a little less selfish. You can't imagine loving anything more deeply. You smile more. You laugh more. I imagine that's what God must feel like when He looks down at all of us. 

Bear on the left. Benjamin on the right. :)