Leave it all behind
Wise words from my sister: you can't pour into people if you're empty. Granted, those weren't her words to quote, but she heard it somewhere, and I deemed them appropriate.
This job, working in this line of work, will really wear you down and drag you down if you let it. And no one would blame you if you did. That's what's so frustrating with this line of work; the turnover is so high because, well, they can't cut it. And that's not a bad thing, because you cannot do this line of work if you are not right for it. You really have to have a heart for it. But sometimes, even those with the right heart and right frame of mine get worn out and burn. Case in point; me. I thought I was going to work at the same place forever, do the same job, bank in a nice retirement after 20+ years and all would be well. But things happen; people change, things change, the place changes and you sometimes have to make some really difficult choices. I realized that today, just tonight actually, and for the first time since I handed in my resignation, it really hit me that what I'm leaving behind....really has me worried. Now why does it have me worried? Because I care about whom I'm leaving behind.
Yes, my co workers. My team. Because at the end of the day, that's what we are. We're the ones standing beside one another, even if we've had a day where we've all wanted to ram our heads into the walls over and over again. But the work gets done, even if not everyone is happy by the end of the day. We make it though, and this cycle repeats itself day after day. Not all the days are bad, in fact, there are many good days. We relish in that too and pray after a series of rocky days that a good day comes our way. But with my co workers, I've really come to care for them over the past 3 years. In some instances, I've spent more time with them than with my own family. I was with some of them this past Christmas. I've had Thanksgiving dinner with my few psych patients and some of my co workers. I've rung in two New Years at work. And next Friday, my time where I work now will be very limited, and I don't know when I will see some of these folks again. We've not only invested in caring for others, but we've invested in each other, only by happenstance because we're in close proximity with one another for 8 hours a day with the same goal. That realization hit me today, and I was near tears because of it. I also realized though that I made the right decision in choosing to take another job, and I know new opportunities are awaiting me.
I do worry and wonder for the well being of those that I'm leaving behind. I wonder what the circumstances are going to be like if at the end of my contract I pick up a PRN shift and have to get familiar with a whole new staff. It's likely that could happen, I just don't know. Only time will tell, but in the meantime, I'm doing my best to stick with my team and remember why I'm there. Why we all do what we do.
This job, working in this line of work, will really wear you down and drag you down if you let it. And no one would blame you if you did. That's what's so frustrating with this line of work; the turnover is so high because, well, they can't cut it. And that's not a bad thing, because you cannot do this line of work if you are not right for it. You really have to have a heart for it. But sometimes, even those with the right heart and right frame of mine get worn out and burn. Case in point; me. I thought I was going to work at the same place forever, do the same job, bank in a nice retirement after 20+ years and all would be well. But things happen; people change, things change, the place changes and you sometimes have to make some really difficult choices. I realized that today, just tonight actually, and for the first time since I handed in my resignation, it really hit me that what I'm leaving behind....really has me worried. Now why does it have me worried? Because I care about whom I'm leaving behind.
Yes, my co workers. My team. Because at the end of the day, that's what we are. We're the ones standing beside one another, even if we've had a day where we've all wanted to ram our heads into the walls over and over again. But the work gets done, even if not everyone is happy by the end of the day. We make it though, and this cycle repeats itself day after day. Not all the days are bad, in fact, there are many good days. We relish in that too and pray after a series of rocky days that a good day comes our way. But with my co workers, I've really come to care for them over the past 3 years. In some instances, I've spent more time with them than with my own family. I was with some of them this past Christmas. I've had Thanksgiving dinner with my few psych patients and some of my co workers. I've rung in two New Years at work. And next Friday, my time where I work now will be very limited, and I don't know when I will see some of these folks again. We've not only invested in caring for others, but we've invested in each other, only by happenstance because we're in close proximity with one another for 8 hours a day with the same goal. That realization hit me today, and I was near tears because of it. I also realized though that I made the right decision in choosing to take another job, and I know new opportunities are awaiting me.
I do worry and wonder for the well being of those that I'm leaving behind. I wonder what the circumstances are going to be like if at the end of my contract I pick up a PRN shift and have to get familiar with a whole new staff. It's likely that could happen, I just don't know. Only time will tell, but in the meantime, I'm doing my best to stick with my team and remember why I'm there. Why we all do what we do.
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