Just a few changes
It's been a while, I do realize. There have been some things going on, not bad things, but just different with the scheduling now. Not to mention that since the first of September I've picked up a second job...sort of. It's still at the same place, but I'm helping out occasionally in Outpatient. As I told my mom...I'm a sub. When the regular nurse can't be there then I take over; it's called PRN (as needed). So that's that, and it's pretty fun! This started a few weeks ago, and the changes go that now unit charge nurses don't have to work weekends anymore or take any on-call hours. Good for them, really. I would love to not work weekends and not be on-call anymore. The bad news is that unfortunately I haven't been on my unit as much, and the only time I'm charge nurse is on my weekend I work and if my unit charge can't be there for some reason....which doesn't happen very often. It's been a bit frustrating, and as a result I've been met with a set of challenges on the other units I've been pulled to. The unit I've been pulled to lately is the teenage version of where I work. Most of them are court ordered to be there, and the program is a bit lengthier than the 28 day rehab my unit offers. I can't remember how long, but it is longer. Anyway, their numbers have been running a bit high over the last....I'd say month or so, and needless to say it's been a little crazy. I've basically been there to be an extra body, and that's about it.
What's been so baffling about all of this is that I'm not much older than some of these kids. Like, not much older in the sense that I could be their older sister. Some of them I developed a pretty strong rapport with. Others....not so much. I wasn't their age that long ago, and the most baffling is that perhaps maybe it's my own naivete, but things have changed so much since I was their age. Really. That's the way I feel. In the past few times I've been over there, with the exception of this past Friday, I felt less and less like a nurse and more of, like I said, just another body. I lost count at how many times I got screamed at, yelled at, called every name in the bird and lost count of how many birds I saw flying to other staff members. No respect anymore, none at all. All the while we're all scratching our heads and trying to figure out why these kids are the way they are, while society is screaming "it's the drugs" or "it's the parents fault!" or "they're just brats" or "they didn't get spanked when they were kids." My sister was constantly like "Kelly, why do you just take it?" Or "Kelly, why do you let them talk to you that way?" It's not that I didn't try, believe me. And the truth is? I don't know what it is. I wasn't spanked as a child, and in my opinion I think I turned out all right. It's just sad really. The generations under me are conditioned to call me a G D bitch when they don't get their way.
Have things really changed that much? I guess they have. But as a nurse and in nursing school, I learned to just roll with the many punches that came with being in situations that seemed less than ideal. I have to remind myself that every day isn't a day that was that bad, and I thank God for the really good days, because I've had a lot of really good days! Those good days where I feel like I'm a part of something and a part of helping people. That, that feeling of knowing you are making a difference, clouds all the bad days and all the screaming at any day.
What's been so baffling about all of this is that I'm not much older than some of these kids. Like, not much older in the sense that I could be their older sister. Some of them I developed a pretty strong rapport with. Others....not so much. I wasn't their age that long ago, and the most baffling is that perhaps maybe it's my own naivete, but things have changed so much since I was their age. Really. That's the way I feel. In the past few times I've been over there, with the exception of this past Friday, I felt less and less like a nurse and more of, like I said, just another body. I lost count at how many times I got screamed at, yelled at, called every name in the bird and lost count of how many birds I saw flying to other staff members. No respect anymore, none at all. All the while we're all scratching our heads and trying to figure out why these kids are the way they are, while society is screaming "it's the drugs" or "it's the parents fault!" or "they're just brats" or "they didn't get spanked when they were kids." My sister was constantly like "Kelly, why do you just take it?" Or "Kelly, why do you let them talk to you that way?" It's not that I didn't try, believe me. And the truth is? I don't know what it is. I wasn't spanked as a child, and in my opinion I think I turned out all right. It's just sad really. The generations under me are conditioned to call me a G D bitch when they don't get their way.
Have things really changed that much? I guess they have. But as a nurse and in nursing school, I learned to just roll with the many punches that came with being in situations that seemed less than ideal. I have to remind myself that every day isn't a day that was that bad, and I thank God for the really good days, because I've had a lot of really good days! Those good days where I feel like I'm a part of something and a part of helping people. That, that feeling of knowing you are making a difference, clouds all the bad days and all the screaming at any day.
A beautiful, relaxing day to you!
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