Missed opportunities

I am so blessed to have such a great team of co workers where I work! I thank God for it, and it is one of the many reasons I enjoy my job. I have learned so much from them about the disease that is addiction, about the 12 Steps, willpower, and so  many other things. This job has, to be honest, so good for my faith in Jesus. Some of the things I've learned, the stories I've shared, have been some of the most powerful spiritual experiences I've ever had in my life. And I've been a "spiritual" person for quite a long time now. What I'm about to share was a prime example of another lesson learned; about prayers. 

This past week at work was pretty rough. I wasn't on my regular unit for most of the week, and the sheer amount of disrespect, crappy attitudes and "eff the world" mentalities I witnessed was downright exhausting. And sad. No matter what any of the staff said or tried to say was just in one ear out the other. It  made me miss my adults I work with; granted, not all of them are motivated to pursue treatment and stay sober, but the majority of them on any given day I'm over there are. Anyway, I was talking to one of my co workers yesterday about this, and we ended up both talking about how on the way to work we pray before getting started. She mentioned more often than not that a common prayer is "God, just get me through the day!" But then she asked me; when we throw up that prayer, that is really like pleading, how often do we miss opportunities to learn something? From our patients, from ourselves, about God, or about the team we are working with? Because with words such as that, you're completely closing off anything and anyone else that is threatening to derail your train of thought of "just get me through." And I left at the end of the day, still finding myself thinking about that. I felt pretty convicted, because I am guilty of praying that very prayer so many times, even throughout the day, over and over. I pray for God to get me through the day, and sometimes along with that I pray for opportunities to share the love of Jesus, but more often than not the latter prayer gets clouded over by negativity and my frustration with the way things are going. 

I found myself thinking before I went to bed last night. How many opportunities have I missed because of my "busyness" of making it through day by day or by being closed off to anything that may threaten my positive nature? A lot. I know I've missed a lot of opportunities. Fortunately, yesterday was not an opportunity I missed. After pondering the same question over and over, a patient finished the 3rd Step, which with their permission I read. At the end was a beautifully crafted prayer that they had written, which left my co worker in tears and me just in awe of them...getting it! I've read many patients step work, and sometimes I'm just like, well....pretty close, or it's just very bare bones and lacking a lot of insight. But other times, there are some things I read and I'm like....YES!!! Yesterday was a YES!!!!! moment. I commended their good work and they told me how motivated and focused they were on staying on the road to sobriety. I was so thankful to be a part of that opportunity yesterday. I am challenging myself to pray a little less of "just get me through the day, God" and more of asking for opportunities to just love, despite whatever chaos, drama, or whatever I am having to work with for the day. I'm not sure what's going to come of this, but I sincerely do think it's worth a try.