The reality of it
"If I'd just given him...five minutes."
"Or ten. Or a week. It might have made all the difference in the world or none at all."
The quote above is from an episode of the TV show Numb3rs, and I'm pretty sure I mentioned in a previous post that my high school stats class used to watch it on occasion. This particular ep revolves around the apparent suicide of a college student. There's a subplot in which there is a rebuttal of some sort to prove the death wasn't a suicide, but you find out by the end of the episode that it indeed was. Again, it just reminds me, as I've so often said before, how real mental illness is. How real suicide is. It's something that needs to be talked about BEFORE someone opens fire in a crowded movie theater. It needs to be talked about BEFORE actors, movie directors and the every-day folks of today decide their lives are no longer worth living and make that choice to take them themselves. It needs to be talked about with your children if they notice their friend is sad a lot or angry a lot. Then there's the other part of this; how does this happen? Why does it happen? I've been where I am over 18 months now and there are things I still see that I simply do not understand. And I've come to realize that there's a small part of me that doesn't want to. I'm not being ignorant. Would you want to understand why there are 8, 9, 10 year olds (even YOUNGER than that) who tell their mom and dad they want to kill themselves? When I was that age, suicide was when you went to a restaurant or the cafeteria in school and got a little bit of every drink in the drink machine and then you had to drink it all. What have these kids been exposed to that I wasn't? What have they been told by their friends that I was never told? What did they miss out on or not miss out on that I did or didn't?
Last night at work I heard bits and pieces of the Oscars. I had heard various tidbits throughout the night and didn't really bother to stop and watch them, since I was a bit busy. But there was someone in particular who came on (and for the life of me I can't remember who it was) but she gave her speec and dedicated her award to her son who committed suicide. She said "we need to talk about this." There was more that she said but I was like yes!!! The other night I was reminded how real it is, followed by a tearful patient conversation near the end of my shift. There was more to it than that, but even the patients who are doing "well" 6 out of 7 days in the week sometimes break. Sometimes the staff breaks too; breaks for them, the situations they're currently in or situations they managed to get away from. Yeah my job wears me out sometimes...ok, a lot of times. But when you know you're making a difference, when a patient tells you "you do so much for us," it makes the crap worth it. Makes the junk worth it. And I'll close with this; if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, take them seriously. Do not leave them alone. Get them some help. Have those uncomfortable conversations; you could be saving a life.
"Or ten. Or a week. It might have made all the difference in the world or none at all."
The quote above is from an episode of the TV show Numb3rs, and I'm pretty sure I mentioned in a previous post that my high school stats class used to watch it on occasion. This particular ep revolves around the apparent suicide of a college student. There's a subplot in which there is a rebuttal of some sort to prove the death wasn't a suicide, but you find out by the end of the episode that it indeed was. Again, it just reminds me, as I've so often said before, how real mental illness is. How real suicide is. It's something that needs to be talked about BEFORE someone opens fire in a crowded movie theater. It needs to be talked about BEFORE actors, movie directors and the every-day folks of today decide their lives are no longer worth living and make that choice to take them themselves. It needs to be talked about with your children if they notice their friend is sad a lot or angry a lot. Then there's the other part of this; how does this happen? Why does it happen? I've been where I am over 18 months now and there are things I still see that I simply do not understand. And I've come to realize that there's a small part of me that doesn't want to. I'm not being ignorant. Would you want to understand why there are 8, 9, 10 year olds (even YOUNGER than that) who tell their mom and dad they want to kill themselves? When I was that age, suicide was when you went to a restaurant or the cafeteria in school and got a little bit of every drink in the drink machine and then you had to drink it all. What have these kids been exposed to that I wasn't? What have they been told by their friends that I was never told? What did they miss out on or not miss out on that I did or didn't?
Last night at work I heard bits and pieces of the Oscars. I had heard various tidbits throughout the night and didn't really bother to stop and watch them, since I was a bit busy. But there was someone in particular who came on (and for the life of me I can't remember who it was) but she gave her speec and dedicated her award to her son who committed suicide. She said "we need to talk about this." There was more that she said but I was like yes!!! The other night I was reminded how real it is, followed by a tearful patient conversation near the end of my shift. There was more to it than that, but even the patients who are doing "well" 6 out of 7 days in the week sometimes break. Sometimes the staff breaks too; breaks for them, the situations they're currently in or situations they managed to get away from. Yeah my job wears me out sometimes...ok, a lot of times. But when you know you're making a difference, when a patient tells you "you do so much for us," it makes the crap worth it. Makes the junk worth it. And I'll close with this; if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, take them seriously. Do not leave them alone. Get them some help. Have those uncomfortable conversations; you could be saving a life.
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