Uncomfortable things

While trying to go to sleep last night in slew of a busy night, I was thinking of a conversation between a patient and myself. I won't go into many details of the conversation, but while it was occurring, it had me thinking about snippets of my life. This patient said they didn't feel like they would do well in the facility and that they didn't want to be around other people. There were things I didn't say but when I got home I was running in my head things I wish I did say. And this is what I wanted to say, since I missed the chance but will now say it to whoever is reading this.

Sometimes when we feel like there's no way out, we reach a point where we're like "oh crap. I really need some help." Those thoughts of really needing help continue, and it almost becomes desperation, where we're like "ok, I will do whatever it takes." And by doing whatever it takes, sometimes requires a bit of discomfort. But you have to be willing, you just have to. Otherwise, a pattern of stillness will just continue and continue and nothing will ever move forward. We tell ourselves "I need help but I don't want to do this" or "I can't do this" or "I don't want to do this" or "this isn't going to work out for me" or "I'll do anything but this or that." See my point? Yes, I am speaking from experience. When I experienced what I went through last year, I got to that point where I told myself I needed some help. I started out by not doing anything, by putting things off and telling myself I just needed to wait to hear from someone. I didn't put out too many new job applications for a while and kind of rolled with the punches. But when 2 or 3 weeks passed where I wouldn't hear from anybody and the bills kept coming in I realized I had to change my strategy. So after that time I started putting out more job applications and got in contact with the ones I did hear from and asked for some sort of follow-up (right around this time I got the call for my interview at my current place of employment). And I faked it. I got up each morning, though sometimes I didn't want to, did my tasks for the day, applied for more jobs even though I didn't want to, but made myself. Made myself keep busy, because I didn't want to think about the fact that I was a fresh nursing grad with no job. And this continued for 3 months, and I was miserable. I turned into a person I didn't recognize.

But I kept pursuing and kept being persistent, even though it was really hard and it made me uncomfortable, because I don't like making phone calls like that and being confrontational. But I did it, because I got to that point where I had to do whatever it took. It paid off, didn't it? Ok, so my point to all of this is like what I said earlier; in order to get out of whatever situation or feelings we are going through, sometimes we have to do things we don't want to. Sometimes God brings us to an uncomfortable place and though we don't see how it'll help us right then, we look back and see that it did. Sometimes I have patients that are shy and while don't mind being around other people they don't like talking in front of others. I encourage them to go to the groups and even if they don't say anything just to sit and listen. Or if they don't want to go to groups I encourage them to talk to a staff member privately if that's what they choose to do. I have often told people you'll only get out of something as much as you invest in it. And I'll be the first to admit, sometimes it's really stinking hard to admit that you need help, in whatever that means. Whether it means going to a new place to talk to someone, going to a group session in a psychiatric facility, or in my case, calling upon my Berea family and saying "look, I'm not ok. I'm in a funk. Can you all pray for me?" You feel lonely at first, but when I made that first step, I was amazed at how quickly those feelings of loneliness went away a little. Discomfort isn't pleasant by any means, but I think it's necessary for a good lesson on growth, especially when that's all you have.