Footprints, lines on the sand, a word: Leaving my mark
I have so many avenues of inspiration for each blog post that I write. Usually each post derives from a stressful day (or two), a story of an encounter with a patient/other staff member or whomever, or something else. This post falls under the something else category; my sister is the big inspiration for this one! She just recently started a new job, and it is without a doubt one that she loves. She too is keeping a blog, separate from the one we write together, about her work endeavors. She posted this quote on her most recent post yesterday, and man. I am struck. Blown away. Thinking, chomping at the bit. Really thinking. The two of us have been on a Numb3rs kick (a TV show about crime, math, brothers, and so much more; had a brief stint of it in high school in my statistics class. Still can't find the bleedin ep I watched in that class!!!!) Anywho, just take a read.
Who am I to you? Are faded chalk marks and scratches on the floor the only evidence that I was here, or did some scribbled note, some fragment of a proof invert your perception of the world, even confirm it, cementing what you knew in your heart to be true, with the balance of left column to right? What footprints have I left behind? Do they endure, or has the ocean of discovery washed them away already? How many lives have I touched? Have I touched yours?
It's really made me think about the impression I have made as a nurse in the past 14 months I have been at my current job. I remember what I was like starting out; terrified to do even anything. The new nurse nerves took a long time for me to get over, and I was in a mindset of constantly questioning and second guessing myself. So afraid to make a mistake that when I actually did make one, I really thought it was the end of the world. To be in a mindset of perfection is creating a recipe for failure; it just is. I set too high expectations of myself and I failed. Badly. Luckily no was was hurt or worse, but still. Come January I will have a clean record and a chance to start over. I've learned so much from my faults, and it's true. They do make one stronger. Anyway, my impression. When patients are mad, scared or worried and just yell and scream at you, you wonder if anything you're doing is going to help. And that responsibility falls on you, because they're in a place they're not familiar with, and they basically ask subconsciously "why should I trust you?" And you have to in a way prove yourself to them. To subconsciously reply "you can trust me." How do I do that? I joke. I smile, not too much though. I learn about their personality as a person and use that to my advantage. I listen. I ask them about their families, their friends, their life outside the confines of the unit. If they ask for something small, I do it, even if I'm busy with 3000 other things. I make time for them if they ask for it. You're probably thinking...well, DUH. That's your job. Well...yeah you would be right. But instead of seeking to treat the illness I try to do my best to also get to know the person. I read somewhere if you treat an illness, you're not always going to be able to do that. But if you can get that affirmed trust from your patient because you spent a little bit of extra time to just be there, you will win each and every single one over and over.
So to answer the question from the monologue, yeah. I know I've touched a few lives, but I think more have touched me. I try to leave a mark that is tangible, not one that washes away after the day is over. Paying attention to the scarce details. Believe it or not, it really does make a difference. Not one, but two of my superiors said they were proud of me. I said that I honestly didn't think I would make it where I am. One of them said "Nah. I had faith in you." Most of what I have grown in knowledge hasn't been about medicine or knowing all the answers, it's just....learning to love more and to be around people who may not realize they do need you. Us. When you have a patient who is guarded, withdrawn and cold at the start of shift but by the end is smiling and says to you "you're the best," that's a win. Guaranteed.
Who am I to you? Are faded chalk marks and scratches on the floor the only evidence that I was here, or did some scribbled note, some fragment of a proof invert your perception of the world, even confirm it, cementing what you knew in your heart to be true, with the balance of left column to right? What footprints have I left behind? Do they endure, or has the ocean of discovery washed them away already? How many lives have I touched? Have I touched yours?
It's really made me think about the impression I have made as a nurse in the past 14 months I have been at my current job. I remember what I was like starting out; terrified to do even anything. The new nurse nerves took a long time for me to get over, and I was in a mindset of constantly questioning and second guessing myself. So afraid to make a mistake that when I actually did make one, I really thought it was the end of the world. To be in a mindset of perfection is creating a recipe for failure; it just is. I set too high expectations of myself and I failed. Badly. Luckily no was was hurt or worse, but still. Come January I will have a clean record and a chance to start over. I've learned so much from my faults, and it's true. They do make one stronger. Anyway, my impression. When patients are mad, scared or worried and just yell and scream at you, you wonder if anything you're doing is going to help. And that responsibility falls on you, because they're in a place they're not familiar with, and they basically ask subconsciously "why should I trust you?" And you have to in a way prove yourself to them. To subconsciously reply "you can trust me." How do I do that? I joke. I smile, not too much though. I learn about their personality as a person and use that to my advantage. I listen. I ask them about their families, their friends, their life outside the confines of the unit. If they ask for something small, I do it, even if I'm busy with 3000 other things. I make time for them if they ask for it. You're probably thinking...well, DUH. That's your job. Well...yeah you would be right. But instead of seeking to treat the illness I try to do my best to also get to know the person. I read somewhere if you treat an illness, you're not always going to be able to do that. But if you can get that affirmed trust from your patient because you spent a little bit of extra time to just be there, you will win each and every single one over and over.
So to answer the question from the monologue, yeah. I know I've touched a few lives, but I think more have touched me. I try to leave a mark that is tangible, not one that washes away after the day is over. Paying attention to the scarce details. Believe it or not, it really does make a difference. Not one, but two of my superiors said they were proud of me. I said that I honestly didn't think I would make it where I am. One of them said "Nah. I had faith in you." Most of what I have grown in knowledge hasn't been about medicine or knowing all the answers, it's just....learning to love more and to be around people who may not realize they do need you. Us. When you have a patient who is guarded, withdrawn and cold at the start of shift but by the end is smiling and says to you "you're the best," that's a win. Guaranteed.
Comments
Post a Comment
Questions, comments and concerns are always welcome, so long as they are pertinent to the content of the post, aren't rude or offensive. Thank you for reading and being respectful in sharing your thoughts! :)