A Bad Neighborhood

"Yeah, I'm cool until everything winds down. Then it's like my head is a bad neighborhood to be in." -Don Eppes, Numb3rs

That phrase definitely describes last night at work. Normally I come home from work and go to bed. Nope. Not last night. Took me a bit longer to unwind. Just full of adrenaline and running around pretty much the entire night. Which just reminds me of the job; Saturday was a pretty good day. Easy, a little busy, but everyone was chill. Then yesterday, chaos all around. Well, not necessarily chaos, just a rather high acuity. I described a high acuity as my sister as a high level of mental instability amongst my patients. Didn't help that I also nearly ended my shift by having to call the police...for circumstances that I am forbidden to share. But again, there is a first time for everything in my line of work, and that was definitely a first. I also had another realization; it truly and very much bothers me at how unsympathetic some individuals are. Like, deeply bothers me that I am to be quite honest shaken to my core. When my Grandpa passed away last year, I wasn't too deeply saddened about it, because my family and I knew it was coming, just a matter of time. And I had already done my fair share of crying and coming to grips with the situation. But still. I received texts and Facebook messages off the wazoo, except from my best friend at the time. Though my grieving was pretty much over, I still needed my best friend. And she was nowhere to be found. Last night, there was a situation that happened somewhat similar to mine, and there were other patients that seemed to turn a blind eye to it, completely disregarding what was going on around them and were fixated on their own problems. Made for a very frustrating second part of the evening.

By the time I got home I didn't realize how HUNGRY I was! I had my usual dinner break but only ate half of it; just finished the rest of it. When your mind is running a mile a minute with this that and the other going on, food is the last thing on your mind. Yet despite the chaos, I still managed to sneak a break in. Then when I got home, I stayed up for a bit. Better than doing drugs or boozing I suppose. This job has a lot of ups. There are so many good days, where things go smoothly, there's enough staff on the unit, the patients are calm/stable and you don't get slammed with a lot of admits or discharges. Then there are nights like last night, where some of the patients aren't stable (yet), you get a few admissions and discharges, some patients are rude, and sometimes you get weird phone calls from a random guy who then tells you his life story and how he was last treated when he was at the very place I work at. Yeah....THAT was a very bizarre experience, and I dare not divulge in the rest of that conversation, which lasted near 30 minutes, because to be honest it was weird and a bit bloody disturbing. Enough about that. Also found out last night that I have to work on Thanksgiving, which kind of stinks. Thanksgiving is big in my family, and it's usually one of the two times I usually get to go back to Ohio to see my folks. Turns out we're just doing Thanksgiving a bit earlier...like this weekend earlier. 2 more days of work then my 6 day mini respite begins. It'll be a bit sobering, working my first ever holiday. I don't think I ever worked holidays even in college! But I will keep a truth in mind; the patients I will be caring for will be away from their families too. It'll be just as hard, if not harder, for them. But a job is a job; sometimes I'm on cruise and others I'm flying by the seat of my pants in a bad neighborhood. As I've said before, the good news is that nothing's permanent. The bad news is that nothing's permanent.

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