Mayhem, foolishness, craziness, changes, yelling, tears and drama; the reflecting on this weekend

Without a doubt, this past weekend was THE craziest weekend I have worked since I've been at my job. 2 admits/1 discharge on Saturday, 3 admits/1 discharge yesterday. On top of all that, being short staffed on Saturday, ordering a 1:1 for someone, angry patients being rude and demanding, tempers flaring, cups of drink flying, yelling because that's the only way some know how to cope, a lot of tears, "shot nerves," shaking hands (including mine), LOTS of de-escalating (mostly "let's not hit people. It's really bad to hit people and then if you do I have to do a lot of paperwork"), a handful of PRN meds, lots of one on one chit chats, fistfuls of furiously written post it notes with doctors orders, several SOS phone calls to the supervisor, 25 minutes of overtime (yesterday, clocked out on time Saturday), and a new CD to blast on the way home. And as the charge nurse, this is what I did. 

But if I'm going to be honest, this is really what I was thinking/feeling/wanting to do. 

Can we PLEASE stop the madness????

Even though the caption says "Chart audits," I felt this was appropriate too. My goodness! Might as well add referee, counselor, therapist and minister behind the RN. I had one patient ask me "how the f*** are you so calm?" I showed him one of my hands that was trembling. He nodded at me and patted me on the shoulder and congratulated on my job well done. And no he wasn't being sarcastic. I think I unknowingly de bunked a common myth this past weekend. When we're around other people or are hurting, sad, scared or afraid, we subconsciously put up a front and a "brave" face so to speak. We tell ourselves "I don't want them to see that I'm hurt, sad, scared or afraid too because then they won't want to talk to me." But I think if we are honest with those who come in our path, or in my case those I care for, then they're more inclined to talk. Or at least that's the conclusion I came to. And I was right. It's easier to develop a rapport with my patients when they can see the real me. When one came up to me and said "I'm scared" and I said back "me too. But we'll be ok," I saw a change in their eyes. I already had a good rapport with this patient already, but I saw a glimpse of something else. Relief. It was me subconsciously saying "I don't have the answers but I'm here for you all and we're going to get through this together." 

Today I'm off. I've recently switched schedules and after this Wednesday I will be off until the following Wednesday. I wasn't sure I had made the right decision, but now I realized that I need a change. Not necessarily of jobs, because I honestly can't imagine doing anything else, rather a change of scenery and pace. Because of this new schedule, I always have Mondays and Fridays off (!!!) which I am very excited about! It goes into effect this week. After Tuesday and Wednesday I'll have some time off and will be going on a mini vacation to get my geek on! :D The secret life of me the psych nurse; HUGE nerd!!!! It's something that has been in the works for about 18 months now, so yeah. Pretty excited!