Several icy spin-outs, "HEY THERE, HONEY" and a cruel reminder
Already near the middle of the month, and this nasty disgusting awful horrendous winter weather is showing no signs of stopping. I have also just now realized that 3 years ago this week, this blog was created. My oh my how times have changed; I'm happy to say that I have continued this blog, even though I don't post as often or as regularly as I used to. But I must say it has been an interesting past few weeks since my last update. I will first and foremost say that for starters I am very happy to be sitting here right now in my living room. My commute home last night was probably one of the worst conditions I have ever had to drive in. It took me a wee bit over an hour to get home; NONE of the roads I travel on were clear. I'm pretty sure I ended up in the ditch at one point before getting onto the interstate. Ended up going no faster than 50mph on said interstate when the normal speed limit is 70; you couldn't see the lines that divided the lanes! At all. It was pretty scary. Slid a few times making some passes and turns, slid once I got off the interstate to turn off the highway, and slid rounding the corner to turn off onto my road...right into a bleeding sidewalk. Luckily it was late at night and I wasn't going very fast. But all is well, my car is fine and I was fine; a bit freaked but that was to be expected.
This past weekend has brought me to a change of pace, as a conflict of interest has kept me off my unit, more on that in a bit. But I've been on the chemical dependency unit this past weekend. I always appreciate a change of scenery; the milieu is very different from where I typically work. Some patients had been there for 3 weeks; the unit offers a 28 day rehab program that some of the patients opt for. Some can't or won't, either because their insurance won't cover a full rehab or they simply choose to detox and then leave. Detox takes anywhere from 5 days to a week, or so I've been told. I always enjoy working over there; listening to these people's walks of life and what they have gone through to get where they were today. I could write a whole separate post regarding the stories I heard in this past weekend alone...maybe another time. I felt it was easier to develop a rapport with these people, which is why I think I like working over there. I love where I work, but some people are very hard nuts to crack, especially if they're really sick or psychotic. It can be difficult and a bit scary too.
But onto my cruel reminder; mental illness doesn't discriminate. It doesn't. I think I read in the last statistics that 1 in 5 people will experience mental illness or know someone with one. It makes my job hard sometimes. I wrote about this in my journal the other night. Mental illness, albeit fascinating is also very frustrating and tricky. I can't always see what my patients see, hear what they hear, feel what they feel or understand what they are saying or trying to say to me. As I approach my 6 month mark at my job...today actually, I have learned that that's not my job. And this is hard for me to deal with sometimes, I will be completely honest. It doesn't bother me too much to the point that I'm losing sleep and whatnot, but it makes it challenging. If I were a floor nurse in a hospital, I would give antibiotics for an infection, a band-aid for a wound or cut, or a breathing treatment for an asthmatic. But where I work, I have patients come up to me and say "I want to hurt myself" or "make the voices stop." How do you treat that? In that moment? You can't. And that is what makes my job difficult at times. Like I mentioned before, mental illness doesn't discriminate. It can affect anyone. I've been reminded of that more often this weekend than before. I come in with the mindset of just trying to do my best to do my best, regardless of what I can or must do. It's not up to me to be the "fixer-upper" of all things. I can't ignore that ever present reminder; I just put on my nurse's hat and face whatever comes.
This past weekend has brought me to a change of pace, as a conflict of interest has kept me off my unit, more on that in a bit. But I've been on the chemical dependency unit this past weekend. I always appreciate a change of scenery; the milieu is very different from where I typically work. Some patients had been there for 3 weeks; the unit offers a 28 day rehab program that some of the patients opt for. Some can't or won't, either because their insurance won't cover a full rehab or they simply choose to detox and then leave. Detox takes anywhere from 5 days to a week, or so I've been told. I always enjoy working over there; listening to these people's walks of life and what they have gone through to get where they were today. I could write a whole separate post regarding the stories I heard in this past weekend alone...maybe another time. I felt it was easier to develop a rapport with these people, which is why I think I like working over there. I love where I work, but some people are very hard nuts to crack, especially if they're really sick or psychotic. It can be difficult and a bit scary too.
But onto my cruel reminder; mental illness doesn't discriminate. It doesn't. I think I read in the last statistics that 1 in 5 people will experience mental illness or know someone with one. It makes my job hard sometimes. I wrote about this in my journal the other night. Mental illness, albeit fascinating is also very frustrating and tricky. I can't always see what my patients see, hear what they hear, feel what they feel or understand what they are saying or trying to say to me. As I approach my 6 month mark at my job...today actually, I have learned that that's not my job. And this is hard for me to deal with sometimes, I will be completely honest. It doesn't bother me too much to the point that I'm losing sleep and whatnot, but it makes it challenging. If I were a floor nurse in a hospital, I would give antibiotics for an infection, a band-aid for a wound or cut, or a breathing treatment for an asthmatic. But where I work, I have patients come up to me and say "I want to hurt myself" or "make the voices stop." How do you treat that? In that moment? You can't. And that is what makes my job difficult at times. Like I mentioned before, mental illness doesn't discriminate. It can affect anyone. I've been reminded of that more often this weekend than before. I come in with the mindset of just trying to do my best to do my best, regardless of what I can or must do. It's not up to me to be the "fixer-upper" of all things. I can't ignore that ever present reminder; I just put on my nurse's hat and face whatever comes.
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