God answers

Had a quiet patient come up to me this past weekend at work and asked me if I believed in prayer. I said that I did. She then proceeded to ask if I would pray for her. For some time now, I have been asking God how I can share my faith in alternative ways. Now that seems like it's worded strangely, but for me to come right out and start talking about Jesus to patients would probably offend some and deter them from coming to me for care. It's awful and I don't like that I'm in that situation, but at the same time I have to be respectful of the milieu and of my patients. I have shared some of my own experiences about what God has brought me through to some of my patients, but that was because I felt that the timing was appropriate. A few days prior to that, the Chief Nursing Officer told me that I was doing a good job after one of the patient charts got audited (gulp!) Then today, I made my first student loan payment; something a few months ago I was not sure how that was going to happen. Over 11 grand isn't going to mysteriously go away. I was counseling a friend who is currently in the same situation I was a few months prior; bills not going away but no money coming in. I remember being there, asking those questions, and the debt continuing to build. It's not an easy place to find oneself in. But I held onto Him and He opened the door for me!

I realize that I've only been where I am for barely 8 weeks now. I still have a lot to learn. I need all the help I can get, and most of that help comes from God. I still get jittery and a bit anxious when I walk into the doors, because you really just don't know what you're going to expect. Over time I'm sure that will pass. The more work I'm exposed to, the more that mess-ups are going to occur. The more patients I see, the more probable that one or a few will ask me to pray for them again. Or share what God has done in their life or will incline me to share what God has done in mine. Then on Sunday, I was exposed to another new first; I admitted a new patient that scared me. Like...literally being around this patient made me a bit fearful. It's hard to explain why that was, but just chalk it up to one of those "you had to be there" moments. I drove home, prayed and asked God how some people in the world get like that. It makes me sad, but it makes me scared too, that there are people like that in the world that He created. I know how it makes me feel, but I wondered how it makes Him feel.

Now I check the clock and it's time for me to leave for another work day. For those of you reading this and need encouragement, I hope you find it, and it doesn't have to be from here. Ask for it. Seek it. Perhaps you'll find it when and where you least expect it.