Fool of a Took; some lessons on mistakes and passing judgment
That's what I'm going to try to say when something unexpected or silly happens, instead of wanting to say four letter words that aren't very nice for a woman of my age or job to say. These past couple of weeks have been pretty stressful to say the least. This past weekend I was on-call, meaning from Friday after my regular shift to early Monday morning I could be called to go back into work on any unit at any shift. This past weekend my parents also came for a visit; the first I had seen them since I graduated. Sure enough, on Saturday morning I got a call saying I was probably needed for third shift; at 9:30 that night I got another call confirming that I was needed. I was assigned to work the chemical dependency unit. I was the only nurse, along with one tech and with 20 patients. It made the night go by really quickly, but it was definitely a challenge. Didn't get any other calls, but on Sunday I prepared myself by sleeping during the day for a while just in case I did get called back in. It didn't happen, so needless to say it took me a while to get my body back into a normal schedule. Monday I was pretty worn out, but Tuesday was a little better. Tuesday was definitely one of the craziest days I've ever worked. Yelling, inappropriateness, a patient leaving AMA, me pulling/passing meds for all the patients and doing 2 discharges just to try and help out. I didn't leave until after midnight. Then on Monday night my replacement arrived late, so I had to wait until 1 AM until he got there. Wednesday I actually left on time! But hey, the life of my work.
On Wednesday (I normally don't work Wednesdays but I was covering for someone) during 1st/2nd shift change, the adult services supervisor talked to all us nurses about some concerns that were going on with the 3 adult units. At the end of the talk, he told us (not exactly in these words but close enough) that mistakes are going to happen. We're all doing a lot of work and there are some that aren't doing as much; they're the ones that aren't going to make too many. But we are, because of what we have to do on a daily basis. He said it's the ones who sit on their bums and do nothing that never learn (he told me the same thing on Tuesday after on Monday he pulled me aside after I messed up transcribing an order). As a nursing student, I was so afraid to make a mistake, because it wasn't only on me but on the nursing department and the school too. I was sometimes ashamed to say I didn't know quite how to do something because I didn't want to give the school a bad name. Now as a nurse working this new job as a new nurse as well, I can't say that those feelings have completely gone away. I don't want to give the institution a bad name, and now if I mess up I could get sued. Now I can't go to that extreme, but it could happen. It's not going to scare me from doing my job. I guess I just didn't realize how the pressure changes from being a student to being an actual nurse. I'm not afraid to ask for help by any means, but we really all do have a lot of responsibility. I am so thankful that I work for an organization that doesn't wag fingers at each other, rather says "hey, we've got this problem and this isn't a problem but it potentially could be. Let's work together to figure out how we can make it better." Almost 6 weeks into this job and I am amazed at how much I've not only grown as a nurse but as a person too.
Yes, it has been crazy and stressful these last few days, but it's also yielded great rewards that once again have outweighed all the crazy and stress. But this past week there was one patient who was very particular about her needs being met. We all did our best to meet her needs as best as we could, but I feel that it got to a point where some trust issues were starting to come out. Anyway, she left the facility this week and I walked her out the door. Before we departed, she gave me a hug and said "I feel like you were one of the only nurses who actually helped me and did something for me." I simply replied "I was just doing my job." But then it got me thinking; we all have people in our lives that sometimes get under our skin. Sometimes they drive us crazy. Chances are though, I think the reason that they "drive us nuts" sometimes is because that in a way they feel they were misunderstood. I think that's what the case with this patient was, and I heard what the other staff members said, but for some reason I used my own judgment and actually listened. You know, especially in my field, it's really easy to assume that any given patient that walks through the door is "needy" "med-seeking" "psychotic" or whatever other label. As for me, I try (and key word is try REALLY hard) to form my own judgment. Sometimes my judgment lines up with what everyone else is saying; other times it doesn't. For some reason I think of the Scripture in Hebrews where it says "don't forget to entertain angels, for an angel could be in your presence and you not even know it." Ok, so that's a very loose Kelly Korb translation, but you get the jist. And you know what else? Anyone can do what I do...well, not really. But my challenge is not only for me but for everyone; really listen to people. You never know what they may be trying to tell you. You may learn something about them, and yourself as well.
On Wednesday (I normally don't work Wednesdays but I was covering for someone) during 1st/2nd shift change, the adult services supervisor talked to all us nurses about some concerns that were going on with the 3 adult units. At the end of the talk, he told us (not exactly in these words but close enough) that mistakes are going to happen. We're all doing a lot of work and there are some that aren't doing as much; they're the ones that aren't going to make too many. But we are, because of what we have to do on a daily basis. He said it's the ones who sit on their bums and do nothing that never learn (he told me the same thing on Tuesday after on Monday he pulled me aside after I messed up transcribing an order). As a nursing student, I was so afraid to make a mistake, because it wasn't only on me but on the nursing department and the school too. I was sometimes ashamed to say I didn't know quite how to do something because I didn't want to give the school a bad name. Now as a nurse working this new job as a new nurse as well, I can't say that those feelings have completely gone away. I don't want to give the institution a bad name, and now if I mess up I could get sued. Now I can't go to that extreme, but it could happen. It's not going to scare me from doing my job. I guess I just didn't realize how the pressure changes from being a student to being an actual nurse. I'm not afraid to ask for help by any means, but we really all do have a lot of responsibility. I am so thankful that I work for an organization that doesn't wag fingers at each other, rather says "hey, we've got this problem and this isn't a problem but it potentially could be. Let's work together to figure out how we can make it better." Almost 6 weeks into this job and I am amazed at how much I've not only grown as a nurse but as a person too.
Yes, it has been crazy and stressful these last few days, but it's also yielded great rewards that once again have outweighed all the crazy and stress. But this past week there was one patient who was very particular about her needs being met. We all did our best to meet her needs as best as we could, but I feel that it got to a point where some trust issues were starting to come out. Anyway, she left the facility this week and I walked her out the door. Before we departed, she gave me a hug and said "I feel like you were one of the only nurses who actually helped me and did something for me." I simply replied "I was just doing my job." But then it got me thinking; we all have people in our lives that sometimes get under our skin. Sometimes they drive us crazy. Chances are though, I think the reason that they "drive us nuts" sometimes is because that in a way they feel they were misunderstood. I think that's what the case with this patient was, and I heard what the other staff members said, but for some reason I used my own judgment and actually listened. You know, especially in my field, it's really easy to assume that any given patient that walks through the door is "needy" "med-seeking" "psychotic" or whatever other label. As for me, I try (and key word is try REALLY hard) to form my own judgment. Sometimes my judgment lines up with what everyone else is saying; other times it doesn't. For some reason I think of the Scripture in Hebrews where it says "don't forget to entertain angels, for an angel could be in your presence and you not even know it." Ok, so that's a very loose Kelly Korb translation, but you get the jist. And you know what else? Anyone can do what I do...well, not really. But my challenge is not only for me but for everyone; really listen to people. You never know what they may be trying to tell you. You may learn something about them, and yourself as well.
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