Five
Five years ago yesterday, I graduated from high school. Five weeks ago today, I graduated from Berea. God's timing...really baffles me sometimes. Yet sometimes I wonder why God picked this path for me. Lately I've been finding myself a bit discouraged at times, because God put me on this path and I am still without a job. I thought the title RN would open more doors, but it seems like more door are closing instead of opening. In a field that claims to be undergoing a "shortage," I feel my responses are turning up empty and the nursing job market is essentially silent. I've pondered a time or two seeking employment elsewhere just to make ends meet. Some days I don't even bother looking for jobs, because I won't find any. And yes, sometimes that is true; sometimes there are no new jobs. But something...or someone...keeps me looking and applying. I swore that when I started applying I would seek only Psych/Mental health jobs. Now that 113 applications have gone in (yes....it's been that many since Feb. 25), not even a quarter of them are in the field I want to do. No, I haven't given up my dream, and I won't.
I can't give up my dream. I've always been goal-driven, and when I am passionate about something...I am in 110%! Four of my classmates already have jobs, out of 13. Kind of weak if you ask me. But they're happy, they love what they do, and I'm happy for them. (Meanwhile my cats just chased two BEAUTIFUL cardinals away from my window...idiots). Part of me wonders though...when's my turn? But after today's sermon at church, I realized; it's not about whose "turn" it is. It's about recognizing and praising God for every good thing He's done in my life. My Pastor asked the congregation if we're really giving God the glory that is due or are we just out there trying to make ourselves look good? I can honestly say that without a doubt I did not bust my butt for myself. I did not pursue this degree for myself. I didn't cry and want to quit a time or two for myself. I certainly did not pass the boards for myself. I worked hard because God has worked hard in me. I didn't do this to prove anything to anyone...at least I hope I didn't come across that way.
I'm keeping my hopes up though; it's a new week. I could have a job tomorrow, 5 days from now or another 5 weeks from now. I'm trying to learn how to work under God's schedule instead of mine. I've never had everything I wanted, but because of Him I always have everything I need. I'm writing this because yes, I am still an unemployed RN. But I hope that someone out there, whether they're a nurse or not can relate to this and say "yes, I've been there and look at what God brought me through."
I can't give up my dream. I've always been goal-driven, and when I am passionate about something...I am in 110%! Four of my classmates already have jobs, out of 13. Kind of weak if you ask me. But they're happy, they love what they do, and I'm happy for them. (Meanwhile my cats just chased two BEAUTIFUL cardinals away from my window...idiots). Part of me wonders though...when's my turn? But after today's sermon at church, I realized; it's not about whose "turn" it is. It's about recognizing and praising God for every good thing He's done in my life. My Pastor asked the congregation if we're really giving God the glory that is due or are we just out there trying to make ourselves look good? I can honestly say that without a doubt I did not bust my butt for myself. I did not pursue this degree for myself. I didn't cry and want to quit a time or two for myself. I certainly did not pass the boards for myself. I worked hard because God has worked hard in me. I didn't do this to prove anything to anyone...at least I hope I didn't come across that way.
I'm keeping my hopes up though; it's a new week. I could have a job tomorrow, 5 days from now or another 5 weeks from now. I'm trying to learn how to work under God's schedule instead of mine. I've never had everything I wanted, but because of Him I always have everything I need. I'm writing this because yes, I am still an unemployed RN. But I hope that someone out there, whether they're a nurse or not can relate to this and say "yes, I've been there and look at what God brought me through."
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