A slow progression
In case you're wondering what happened to me, fear not. I'm still around. In the words of Gandalf the Grey, "I was delayed." The circumstances of the delay are not important, but I missed last week but am now back to starting again. The schedule I had in this past week was different than usual; one day shift and a NIGHT shift!!!! My preceptor was on call this week because night shift was short staffed, so I buckled down and went in this past Friday night, as well as this past Thursday.
Thursday was a good day overall. Had one patient get transferred then got another one! First patient I had had an extensive surgery for an artery graft in his leg...lots of artery disease. Anyway, so he was there for the morning and then got transferred to the floor. He was a nice guy, liked to joke around and TALK. I came to the conclusion that I think he was just lonely and wanted someone to talk to. In those situations, it's sad because what I felt like I was doing wasn't enough. It's those sort of people you worry about because you know they're going "home" to not very good conditions, yet they're the patients who are the happiest with very little complaints. Helps put things in perspective. Then I had my midterm evaluation. More on that later. Friday night was....a night. It wasn't very busy, not a lot happened, but it was a good experience. Had a newly post-op patient who slept pretty much the entire time. She only woke up when we went in to turn or do our assessment. Other than that, slept and snored. Can't complain. I wholeheartedly applaud those who are cut out to do that, because I for one am not one of those people. I could tell that being on night shift was impacting my concentration greatly! Come Saturday morning I had to spend the day trying to reset my clock...it took a while. As of now, I won't be seeking any night shift positions, but I'm not going to rule them out completely.
Now for my midterm evaluation. There's no point in me getting all hung up about it so I'm not going to. But the common consensus was that I'm not where I want to be. I still feel overwhelmed at times because of all that's going on around me. And I forget how to do things....a lot. Not the big things...but the little things. I write things down that I forget, then the next week I go in I don't forget that but I forget something else. It's frustrating, not only for my preceptor but mostly for me. And I keep getting asked "what's the problem" or "why does this happen." And my answer? I don't know. I don't know why I do what I do...or don't do in this case. Believe me, I wish I could pop out my brain and be like QUIT FORGETTING THINGS. It's embarrassing; it doesn't make me look good and it doesn't make the school look good either! Then I feel stupid, because then I have "oh DUH" moments and "I should have known that" moments. It's just...I try. I try so hard!!!!! I pray every morning before I walk in that He would guide me, clear my head and remind me to not get hung up on the little things. Easier said than done. I don't know why I'm not fully confident yet and I wish I would be! I don't know why it's taken me so long! Is this normal? Clearly I'm competent and able; I don't think the department would let me go on if I wasn't. I wouldn't let myself go on if I wasn't.
Yeah, I know. I'll "get there." Then people ask me "What can I do to help?" I don't know how to answer that either. I can do the skills. I can do the charting. I can talk to patients and families. I can answer their questions....most of the time (if I don't I ask for help). I know this is what I want to do. But I don't even know what the "problem" is. Maybe positive reinforcement would help? Maybe being done with school will help? Again, I don't know. And now I'm between a rock and a hard place because graduation is 2 months away from tomorrow. Am I going to be ready? I'd like to think that I am. I'd like to think that everyone in my class is ready. So what do I do? I keep trying. I keep praying. Hopefully I'll get to where I want to be. Good things come to those who wait.
This song. Story of me right now. Bebo Norman: I'm Alright.
# of days completed: 10
# of hours remaining: 120
Thursday was a good day overall. Had one patient get transferred then got another one! First patient I had had an extensive surgery for an artery graft in his leg...lots of artery disease. Anyway, so he was there for the morning and then got transferred to the floor. He was a nice guy, liked to joke around and TALK. I came to the conclusion that I think he was just lonely and wanted someone to talk to. In those situations, it's sad because what I felt like I was doing wasn't enough. It's those sort of people you worry about because you know they're going "home" to not very good conditions, yet they're the patients who are the happiest with very little complaints. Helps put things in perspective. Then I had my midterm evaluation. More on that later. Friday night was....a night. It wasn't very busy, not a lot happened, but it was a good experience. Had a newly post-op patient who slept pretty much the entire time. She only woke up when we went in to turn or do our assessment. Other than that, slept and snored. Can't complain. I wholeheartedly applaud those who are cut out to do that, because I for one am not one of those people. I could tell that being on night shift was impacting my concentration greatly! Come Saturday morning I had to spend the day trying to reset my clock...it took a while. As of now, I won't be seeking any night shift positions, but I'm not going to rule them out completely.
Now for my midterm evaluation. There's no point in me getting all hung up about it so I'm not going to. But the common consensus was that I'm not where I want to be. I still feel overwhelmed at times because of all that's going on around me. And I forget how to do things....a lot. Not the big things...but the little things. I write things down that I forget, then the next week I go in I don't forget that but I forget something else. It's frustrating, not only for my preceptor but mostly for me. And I keep getting asked "what's the problem" or "why does this happen." And my answer? I don't know. I don't know why I do what I do...or don't do in this case. Believe me, I wish I could pop out my brain and be like QUIT FORGETTING THINGS. It's embarrassing; it doesn't make me look good and it doesn't make the school look good either! Then I feel stupid, because then I have "oh DUH" moments and "I should have known that" moments. It's just...I try. I try so hard!!!!! I pray every morning before I walk in that He would guide me, clear my head and remind me to not get hung up on the little things. Easier said than done. I don't know why I'm not fully confident yet and I wish I would be! I don't know why it's taken me so long! Is this normal? Clearly I'm competent and able; I don't think the department would let me go on if I wasn't. I wouldn't let myself go on if I wasn't.
Yeah, I know. I'll "get there." Then people ask me "What can I do to help?" I don't know how to answer that either. I can do the skills. I can do the charting. I can talk to patients and families. I can answer their questions....most of the time (if I don't I ask for help). I know this is what I want to do. But I don't even know what the "problem" is. Maybe positive reinforcement would help? Maybe being done with school will help? Again, I don't know. And now I'm between a rock and a hard place because graduation is 2 months away from tomorrow. Am I going to be ready? I'd like to think that I am. I'd like to think that everyone in my class is ready. So what do I do? I keep trying. I keep praying. Hopefully I'll get to where I want to be. Good things come to those who wait.
This song. Story of me right now. Bebo Norman: I'm Alright.
# of days completed: 10
# of hours remaining: 120
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