Stuff they don't teach you in the books
Yesterday and Wednesday I was on site again. It was a very busy week, yesterday more so than Wednesday. I am amazed at how much I am continuing to learn and thank goodness I have a wonderful preceptor who is always there whenever I need it. There were no wet shoes this week or any other harmless mishaps, but I was kept on my toes. Wednesday was an interesting day. I was given a very interesting patient; she had suspected Munchhausen's and...there were a lot of other tales that for the sake of time I'm not going to delve into. Anyway, the morning was completely fine and I had no problems with her at all. In the afternoon I found her standing in her room and asked what she was doing. Apparently she was trying to order an iPad from the TV on her cell phone. I got my preceptor and we had to explain that there would be no iPads allowed. She wasn't confrontational, never tried to deny anything and was very cooperative. Like I said, there were some other underlying problems, some known and some potential and new onset, but yeah. Interesting. Then her mom showed up with her pizza and all was right in the world. It was a good day and I gained a good experience from it.
Then there was yesterday. I had a patient that I saw the first day I arrived on site. She was an older lady who had fallen. After her ORIF surgery, she never quite fully recovered, mentally that is; as a result she was on mechanical ventilation. While I was there a few members of her family had showed up at different times of the day. At one point a family member became very emotional about the fact that it was unlikely she was going to recover. It was a really sad time for everyone who was there, and decisions were being made about terminating the vent. This was something that I had never experienced before, and it was especially hard for me. I found myself tearing up too and teared up a bit while driving home. Later in the day another family member was there and he was reading a Bible. The gospel of Matthew to be more specific. That launched into another brief conversation about that and the fact that this patient had raised him. I didn't know what to do or what to say, so I just listened. We get all these lectures in our classes about end of life care. We get told what might happen and things that nurses could or should do. But truly, nothing really does prepare you for when these conversations and these things actually do happen. You're not sure whether to say something in response or to say nothing . You're not sure whether or not to cry or to hold it all in. My preceptor told this family member that we've all lost loved ones. Then there's me. Sure I've lost people in my life; one was a friend and the others were either I was too young to remember or I hadn't seen them in years. To be honest I haven't really lost any close loved ones, other than my friend. Honestly I felt selfish because I didn't really know what to think or to do or to say. But sometimes we say all we want to if we don't say anything at all. In the end the family was respecting her wishes, and that's what we kept reinforcing. In the end I felt I did the best I could with the situation, and I couldn't stop thinking about that family for the rest of the night.
I'm off for a bit; not back on until next Saturday. I'm definitely going to enjoy my time off, stay caught up with my homework, go to work, classes and SLEEP!!!!
# of days completed: 4
# of hours remaining: 192
Then there was yesterday. I had a patient that I saw the first day I arrived on site. She was an older lady who had fallen. After her ORIF surgery, she never quite fully recovered, mentally that is; as a result she was on mechanical ventilation. While I was there a few members of her family had showed up at different times of the day. At one point a family member became very emotional about the fact that it was unlikely she was going to recover. It was a really sad time for everyone who was there, and decisions were being made about terminating the vent. This was something that I had never experienced before, and it was especially hard for me. I found myself tearing up too and teared up a bit while driving home. Later in the day another family member was there and he was reading a Bible. The gospel of Matthew to be more specific. That launched into another brief conversation about that and the fact that this patient had raised him. I didn't know what to do or what to say, so I just listened. We get all these lectures in our classes about end of life care. We get told what might happen and things that nurses could or should do. But truly, nothing really does prepare you for when these conversations and these things actually do happen. You're not sure whether to say something in response or to say nothing . You're not sure whether or not to cry or to hold it all in. My preceptor told this family member that we've all lost loved ones. Then there's me. Sure I've lost people in my life; one was a friend and the others were either I was too young to remember or I hadn't seen them in years. To be honest I haven't really lost any close loved ones, other than my friend. Honestly I felt selfish because I didn't really know what to think or to do or to say. But sometimes we say all we want to if we don't say anything at all. In the end the family was respecting her wishes, and that's what we kept reinforcing. In the end I felt I did the best I could with the situation, and I couldn't stop thinking about that family for the rest of the night.
I'm off for a bit; not back on until next Saturday. I'm definitely going to enjoy my time off, stay caught up with my homework, go to work, classes and SLEEP!!!!
# of days completed: 4
# of hours remaining: 192
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