I think my BMW is locked

Due to the tragic weather occurances of Friday, I have only one week of clinicals to report of. Unfortunately, Children's news will have to wait until this upcoming week when I am AT HOME for Spring Break!!! ^__^ As you can tell, I am looking forward to it. This week I started on a new floor;  yes, another Med/Surg floor. Shew, at this rate us nursing students should be pros at this stuff by now! Haven't had a single semester without it since clinicals started. Anyway, it's a MUCH bigger floor and the nurses each have anywhere from 5-7 patients to take care of. This starting week we'll have two. Stay tuned on that one.

Anyway, the patient I had was just...an all around very bizarre case. It was the first time leaving the floor in which I still felt very weird about the whole situation. In the nursing world, there is a diagnosis for adults and children called "failure to thrive." It's incredibly complicated, and to explain it would take quite a while. Anyway, that was my patient's "primary" diagnosis, ok sure. In my opinion she didn't meet the criteria for what that consists of, but I am not a licensed healthcare professional thus I cannot form such opinions professionally or logically...just call it a gut feeling. But apparently she had lost a bunch of weight over the past few months and hadn't eaten much since that time. There was also something about a possible cognitive deficit, because that's incredibly specific. Shoot, in the real world that could mean a whole array of diagnoses. Didn't really classify to me as having a deficit, but again...not a professional healthcare provider. When I was pulling her medications out of the BMW (that's what the nurses call the med cart), again, just...things I did not expect this lady to be on but she was on. To conclude simply, this patient situation was just strange. Nothing was listed for a psych consultation or a dietary consultation and there were no treatment options discussed. Ok, so next time I see "some intervention was needed" in the patient's H&P, then some more intervention should be done I guess. Oh the things I will do once I start practicing....

For the remainder of this post, I am touching on a rather sensitive subject. I found out by my clinical instructor that a former patient with a very sad situation passed away this past week. Heartbreaking...just heartbreaking. But from what I was told, it was a very peaceful death with family at her side. In my book that is the ideal way to leave this earth. Then, a couple of days ago a dear friend of mine lost his grandmother; the very person who raised him his entire life. Again, heartbreaking. Then something hit me; these people are put in our lives for a reason, whether it be briefly or for your entire life. It doesn't make losing them any easier, though. Yeah, I was devastated to hear about my former patient, but honestly death is a part of life. I am really not trying to reopen any old wounds for anyone, but my friend knew his grandmother his whole life. I had the privilege of knowing this woman for only a few weeks, but even in that short time she taught me a great lesson. 

Sometimes our bodies turn against us for reasons we can't explain; some in big ways and some in small. Sometimes people get bitter and angry. Sometimes people think the only way to fight is to win at a losing game and take the life away. And then there's her....and me. She didn't let her disease take over her life, but in the end her body just knew it was time to go. Though my situation is completely different, there have been mornings where the pain of this unknown ankle problem has gotten the best of me. I've gotten angry and at one point resented others because I had to depend on them so much. Then I think of this lady; she was in the hospital for almost two months. She had to depend on others just to make it through another day.  But never once was she angry or showed any resentment; depressed at times of course, but never angry or bitter. What I learned from this sweet lady was that sometimes fate deals you a cruel hand and we just have to roll with the breeze and take it as it comes. They'll be good days and bad days; pray for the laughter and sing through the tears. I hope that when I start practicing that I can use what has happened to me for good...and think about this patient I once had. 

Go down graceful

Sleep with the angels

And wake up whole again

But the God that sometimes can't be found

Will wrap himself around you

So lay down, sister, lay down